Thursday, the 29th day, of the 6th month, of 2006

Well another lovely day...not much is happenening in my life so I'll keep this short.

Curstin is going to make a meal!!  WHOO HOO!!  ^_^  I just dont' knwo what >.>   and tomorrow at work we'll have a barbeque from 11-2  ^_^  free food!!!  oh man life's good.

other than that not much else is happenin'.

you might notice my layout being gutted and changed...so yeah  it'll probably take me all weekend to have it the way I like it.  soo....bare with me please!  ^_^

I screwed up....yet again

Ok so....I screwed up yet again.  I told a really dark secret of mine (the only one I just don't tell to anyone) and well...my friend got mad at me...*sigh*  which isn't really new but yeah.  I ahve a girlfriend named Rachel and my friend and my girlfriend are really close and talk quite often.  Well since my friend got REALLY mad at me she told my girlfirend the one dark secret that I wasn't prepared to tell her =\....The reason is that secret makes me out to be something I'm not.  I regret what I did and if I could go back I wouldn't have done it.  But yeah  so Rachel found that out....and other things ...

You see the reason my friend was mad at me is because I told her that I was flirting with a girl on-line (it was in Neverwinter Nights an RPG on-line game)  but no excuse ...  I am a flirt and that's how I get to know people and get comfortable with them and them with me...that's who I am however I didn't think it would hurt....no  I knew it would hurt but while doing it I wasn't thinking =/.  So that came out that I was flirting with someone to Kirsten and Kirsten got mad and told rachel my dark secret and that I was flirting ....

From what kirsten says Rachel then hung up on her and.....then the next day she was found unconcious on the floor.  she went to the hospital and woke up that night but wasn't really saying anything....so  yeah hopefully rachel isn't mad at me...but yeah...i donno what happened...if she did something...if someone else did something...if noone did anything. but yeah...that wasn't cool.

work sucks today....Stupid Surf Control program is blocking Myspace, VTunnel, AND YouTube.  I have nothing left ;_;  oh well.....not much to say..haven't posted in a while but just don't feel like talkign so ciao!

A Sleepless Night

My AC doesn't work  ;_;

I hate sleeping in a hot room....well it wasn't hot hot...it was probably 85ish.  I want my room to be like 60 or 50 degrees.  I like it cold o.o.....so cold that I could see my breath if I wanted (no kidding).  But yeah my AC wasn't working so that sucked....but anywho.

Earlier Wednesday I went to work...duh...like every Wednesday.  It was very very slow >.<  which is ok I guess...I watched like 20 anime episodes I swear xD  well that's maybe exaggerating but yeah  lol. (that's neat that I get paid to watch anime....bet you can't top that!!  ^_^)   After work I went to the chiropractor and got adjusted and then massaged.  The Chiropractor person is getting married in like 4 days (next Monday).  Cangrats for him.  Oh man that massage felt sooooooo good.  I want her to massage my lower back a little more...that feels sooooooo goood...but I dont' want her to neglect my upper back which is THE problem  lol  I jsut wish she'd massage me for more than 15 minutes  ^^;;;  but I guess I'm getting greedy..anyone wanna massage me? o.o..............nope guess not  ^^

After that I went to my roommates work and worked out...then afterwords I was talking to him about random stuff like him helping me train in this Shadow-Kain(spelling is more than likely not right) Karate and workign out stuff and owning homes and just life in general.  He's a cool guy.  He kinda looks and sounds Jamacan though..I don't remember where he's from =/  I'm a bad roommate u.u....oh wells...oh I need to buy food >>  oops sorry...random thought <<

Afterwards I went home and April called me and she was freaking out.  She was going on and on how she was a terrible girlfriend and she started crying over her OCD, and all her other problems....she was actually crying so hard that I couldn't understand anythign she was saying.  Basically she was so hurt because her current boyfriend is an ass.  He just isn't forgiving.  They were waling alone outside (alone meaning together) and it was dark...He then just up and left her...she started crying...and then he came back and shee asked why he left...and he said "well atleast I came back"....and just cruel stuff like that.  I mean yes she tries to make whoever she's with jealous which is a bad thing >>  but normally she only does it in retaliation to her "bf" trying to make her jealous.  he's a horrible person and if I EVER come across him I'm gonna smash his face into a wall...he shouldn't treat ladies that way no matter how cruel they are.  and in April's case if he wasn't a complete idiot to begin with she wouldn't be so "mean". But anyways...on a semi good note I think I'm over the pain  ^^.....the bad thing is >>  that means I will only go back to her if I fall for her again...I still love her...but jsut as a friend....I dont' love her anymore than that.  which is sad because she wants more than that...but anywho.

Ok last time I talked to Rachel was Sunday....I don't have Rachel's Telephone number and Rachel lives in Ohio.  Really the only way I can send am essage to Rachel is through her friend and my friend Kirsten.  So most the stuff I learn about Rachel is through Kirsten....which is sad >>

So I caleld Kirsten up yesterday and talk to her for a bit...and then I talk about rachel...Kirsten stated that Rachel is feeling better  ^^ which is good....she also stated that Rachel misses me and wants to call me (I'm thinking....then call me >>).  But yeah...rachel doesn't like calling me when her Mom is around because her mom will hound her and stuff...and I don't blame her...I'd probably do the same if I was living with my parents still.  But it is still annoying that she doesn't call me >>  but I s'pose it's fine because if she called all the time...we'd start fighting a little more and we'd probably not be as fun when we talk..=\  I'm not a very interesting person over the phone....(atleast I think so...and I'm a very pessimistic{sp?} person >>)  but yeah....I can wait a week or two without talking to her (don't want to though)...but if it starts hitting a month...I won't be able to last.  =\  I need the commication...anywho.....that's all for now...I'm at work o.o  and I'm tired.....I freakign didn't get any sleep >.<  It was so hot in my room and miserable...when I finally went to sleep the first time..April called me.  Then I was up until about 3 or 4 am.  >.<  gah...I'm soooo tired right now.  But yeah  ^_^  life's good and I've been depressed all week and I don't know why >>  but yep..that's all........oh I finished reading I think the first 4 or 6 chapaters of Everina  WHOO HOO!!  awesome stuff....^_^

Monday, Monday.....so good to me...Monday, Monday...

WHOO HOO  Rachel called me twice in a row!!!  once Saturday night and then another time Sunday night  ^_^  that's like so awesome.  Rachel is still sick...though she says it's not as bad as she is making it sound...she's just making it worse than it is in her head.  Which I don't blame her for that I mean geeze...I'd probably freak out if I was diagnosed with what she had.  But we had fun talking  it was quite relaxing and all definitely Sunday because I was very stressed out which I'm about to talk about =P

I went to McDonalds to eat lol  and talk to my old coworkers (I got fired from this place remember)  but they still love me  ^_^.  so I  chilled for about 2 hours and then came home.  Then I spoke with April.  April said she strangled her bf because he had a picture of his ex in his wallet o.o  well it was actually more than that...he said at the beginning of the relationship that he'd remove it...so in a way it would appear that he was cheating on her...well atleast lieing to her and she doesn't like to be lied to..and besides the kid is stupid....real stupid...>.<  but yeah she kinda went overboard on that =\.   I also found out that Friday she lsot her virginity well not exactly lost...she gave it to him...that hurt..but not as bad as I thought it would.  I guess that means my heart is starting to get used to the idea that she's with someone else...which is good because I won't hurt for very much longer  ^^.  But bad because if April reads this she'll be upset and hurt because she'll feel like we have no chance of getting back together which isn't true...there's always a chance..just I'm not running to her because I'm unsure of her because of somethings she's done...she's not someone I loved...she's acting like the people I would never want to be in a meaningful relationship...I mean =\  i donno...But hey..I'm happy that's she's exploring I guess...she should do what she wants and not be in a pressured relationship...or the type of relationship I want...I want someoen who is locked in...and determined to stay with me and me with her...I dont' mind them talkign about other people...but I want to feel the confidence that we are together forever.  anywho..I'm at work and these calls are distracting me >.<  but yep  I'm gonna go read Everina's story now.  WOOT!!  ^_^

Bored....gah

let's see....

oh yeah I love my myspace layout right now  ^^  and if you wanna add me you can (i probably won't add ya unless I know you o.o)  but yeah  it's  www.myspace.com/taiki_kazuma

not much is going on here.  Found out my stupid bank canceled my bank cards because I went negative 14 times in the past year...ooo wee...who cares?  I mean they get an extra 35 dollars for every negative transaction...they should let me keep it...they're making a fortune off me.  but noooooo  they had to be retards and cancel my card >.<  oh well....AND IT WASN"T EVEN THE STUPID CARDS FAULT!!!  each time was because of checks >>  they should cancel my checks not my cards  xD  anyways >>  now I gotta get into the habit of carrying cash on me and writing checks  >.<  *sigh* oh well life goes on. 

Friday I had to take Curstin home from work during work because she was sick =\  poor girl...she told while I was taking her home that she has this problem with bleeding and when it gets really bad she goes to the doctor and they burn some of her skin in her uterus (i do believe that's where).  That stops the bleeding....however the sad thing is she will not be able to bare any children by the time she's 25  =\  I feel sorry for her  u.u

Also on friday,  April read this xanga thingy  lol  and yelled at me o.o  she called me a liar  u.u  which isn't exactly true.  I dont recall ever lieing to her....I mean  I do love her  and I told her that...I also told her that I don't love her like I used to....I just love her as a dear friend.   I also told her that i'm trying to have me and rachel work out because that's what I want right now.  I also told April that there is always a chance that we could be back to together and we'll always be friends anyways  =\.  I also told her there's no chance that we'll be together before we hang out again  (hopefully she doesn't run off like she did last time).  But that's life so far.  Not much is happening on my weekend....not much to say...and I think that's about it....Oh yeah  THANKS EVERINA!!!  i'll most definitely read that story...just umm  >>  don't feel like it today  but I will read it  ^_^  but that's it on my life for now  ttfn